Crush, kill, destroy

It is not always possible to pinpoint the finest moment of a band, but this performance remains a strong candidate.

Set Tighten

As I slept, a voice cried out, "Inverted Christ in a black Heaven!" It was going to be that kind of day.

November 23 - I was up far too early this morning, and it never agrees with me. Averse Sefira was invited as a special guest on Watain's Austin date, and with Goatwhore also on the bill it felt like a full circle in many ways. I showed up early at the venue to receive our Swedish cohorts and grabbed an item or two to haul inside. As Watain's production has grown, so has the size of the odor that follows them. They brought in an oozing backdrop bag that attracted flies like magnets and a rubber tub that was full of props but looked and smelled like it contained a dismembered corpse instead. It was unseasonably hot, which may be needless to say since Texas is always fucking unseasonably hot, so it didn't help the accelerated rot amongst the band's implements.

After Watain's soundcheck there was time to spare, so we decided to investigate the neighboring hot sauce outlet. While many of these establishments are for tourists, there are actually a lot of tasty and serious hot sauces to be had. Once inside, the Cajun proprietor gave Watain the full treatment regarding recommended sauces and their relative degrees of severity. With the panache of a carnival showman, he pointed us to a small black vial seated in a Halloween-prop skull goblet. The vial contained capsaicin oil, a concentrated extract from the hottest part of the chili pepper, and the owner enthusiastically told us about its potency. He used a toothpick to draw out a pinhead-sized bead of the greasy black liquid and said that while this was a normal dose, a visiting skeptic tasted a whole toothpick's worth and left the store on his hands and knees. We all chuckled with some incredulity but as the toothpick was offered around, all eyes drifted my direction. As a local I felt like I needed to stand up to the challenge, so I took the pick and rubbed it over the center of my tongue as instructed.

While I certainly expected to feel something, I didn't anticipate just how intense the effects would be. After about 20 seconds, I broke into sweats and my eyes and nose started to gush uncontrollably. Erik began choking with laughter at my appearance; I've been pepper sprayed before (wrong place, wrong time - different story) but it was like a bouquet of roses by comparison. This was a genuine chemical burn taking place, and I tried to avoid screaming as I cast about for an antidote. The store had a cooler of soft drinks, and I grabbed a Dr. Pepper even though it wouldn't really help. I started to gulp it down and then Håkan came up to me sputtering, "Can I have... some of that... Pepper?!" He had taken the plunge too, and now we were both in spice hell. I started to worry as the burn spread down my throat with equal vigor; airway issues would be a handicap tonight, so I marched out of the store and stiff-legged it down to a corner gas station. They had bottles of whole milk, and I drank half of it on my way back to the shop. Once there, the still suffering Mr. H gratefully sucked down the other half. The discomfort slowly abated, and ultimately the whole thing was some good slapstick for the weary headliners. Still, the strength of that stuff was shocking and my mouth waters uncontrollably just thinking about it. A vial of black evil lives at the Tears of Joy Hot Sauce Shop on 6th Street.

A little later, Pelle and I continued our tradition of sitting down for a meal together (sushi tastes odd with an excoriated tongue). He reminded me that Watain has toured a huge amount in the last two years, more than I even realized. It's still incredible to me how big they've become since our first tour together along with Secrets of the Moon in 2003. It's also weird to consider that they're all just now the age I was when we made that outing. Even then, it was clear that the band was bound for glory. They were relatively green, but their performances were ferocious; at the time, it was just a couple of inverted crosses, some goat's blood, and soon a few acquired bird carcasses, but they made it cyclopean and deadly by force of will.

from the vault - Averse Sefira & Watain, Budapest, 2003

At showtime, we were plenty prepared but I was nervous. It's rare, but sometimes it happens for no reason,  and other times it seems to be my intuition sending up a red flag. Tonight, unfortunately, was the latter as we made it through our opener, "Vomitorium Angelis", and then Sanguine's amplifier suddenly burned out. We were using the tour backline which included Sammy Goatwhore's speakers, and apparently they had variable wattage settings. It was dark at the back of the stage, and we clearly chose the wrong input. We tried to make a show of being unbothered, but it started to evaporate when it was clear the amp was inoperable.

During the lull, I made the mistake of dedicating the performance to the absent Set Teitan, and I ultimately regretted it. After a short huddle we plugged into one of Watain's amps and kept going. The crowd cheered when Sanguine's guitar came back to life, but the mics weren't yet placed correctly on Watain's cabs so the sound was weak and quiet. Carcass and I held it down and we all played well, but it was one of my least favorite sets in a long time. At least our audience was understanding and gave us a warm reception. We dropped two songs at the end and left the stage promptly. It was not the worst experience, but it was disappointing all the same. Fans wanted photos after, and I obliged even though it felt like I hadn't done anything to warrant it. The mostly incompetent house sound man came up after and asked if the monitors had sounded all right, and I said, "Actually, no," to which he snapped, "Well then you should have said something!". As a matter of fact I had, but to no avail. Jackass. I never understand why people ask questions if they don't want anything other than an affirmative. Die.

Goatwhore came on next and did their job without fail. They know how to whip up an audience, and they sound exactly the same whether they're playing an arena or a hole in the wall. Effective bastards, the lot of them. Watain came next after a relatively long intermission. Crewman Johan has more to do than ever these days with all the festooning of bloody chains, lighting of candles, and handling of instruments, so the protracted changeover made it easier to visit with everyone backstage. As Erik prepared, we talked about the evolution of black metal's presentation, including the ongoing shift in his own persona as a quest to find the truest version of it. It dovetailed with my recent impressions of Frost and reinforced much of what I had gleaned. I acknowledged that my persona has remained relatively fixed since inception, but Erik pointed out that a fixed and immutable form is every bit as genuine. If nothing else, one of the best parts of being in a black metal band is exchanging ideas with other like minds and gaining validation and fresh perspectives in the process. When Watain loaded in earlier, their gear had a green stench as opposed to the orange one I had come to know. As Erik finished donning his gear, the orange was on him in full force, and I was back on the road in 2003 and sleeping in the Stockholm bunker two years prior all at once. I've been accused of fawning over Watain in these pages, but the fact is that they have been great friends to us, and they are tied to many critical experiences for AVRS over the years. Fuck yourself if you don't like it.

As for the performance itself, Watain always goes for the throat, and tonight was no different. The band was energized and Erik, sans bass for a change, affected a witching posture as he moved around the stage that recalled the early days of Alice Cooper. At times, he looked like he was picking things out of the air, perhaps whiffs of brimstone that only he could detect. It was the full ritual as expected, though nobody was assaulted except for the club's stage manager when he put out the top tier candles on the stage. They were threatening to set the roof aflame, but a move like that is a violation of the rite as well. Erik responded accordingly by attacking the guy and chasing him off stage.

The odd thing was that the overall PA volume felt too low and the larger impact was somewhat undermined as a result. The venue was mostly full, but past the first couple of rows the crowd seemed a little more disconnected then they should have been. It was still a good response overall, but it was muted compared to Watain's frightening appearance at Red 7 almost two years before. Maybe Emo's is becoming paranoid about noise ordinances. In any event, the show was good and the band played almost an hour and a half. It's hard to imagine doing that- I would be tired out and sick of it by the one-hour mark. Erik baptized the faithful in blood during the closing hymnal, the 14-minute "Waters of Ain", which was particularly exciting to the novice fans in the audience.

At the end, we all shook hands and said farewell once more. It's a strange reality in metal how sometimes you see close friends for an evening or maybe a weekend about every six months. This makes the time all the more valuable, though one day I hope to find myself closer to the source. Sorry that the conclusion wasn't more explosive, but even a night out with Watain isn't always guaranteed chaos. Sometimes a show is just a show, and sometimes it's better that way.

Effigies - Artifaction II

I first acquired Celtic Frost's To Mega Therion in 1987, as I was simply too young to buy it when it was originally released. Like many nascent metalheads, the forbidding cover image ignited my fascination with the work of HR Giger. In short order, I managed to acquire several of his books despite the pain of scrambling for money at every turn to do so. As I became engrossed in the nameless realms and striated landscapes of Giger's paintings, I felt ever more envious of Tom and Celtic Frost for having access to such an incredible artist. I quietly promised myself that one day my band would find a master of our own to help bring our presentation to new heights.

Two decades later, I found myself speaking enthusiastically with an artist named Jos A. Smith about licensing his artwork for our upcoming album, Advent Parallax. Jos was a contemporary of Giger, and they had actually collaborated together on designs for an unmade film called "The Tourist". That aside, Jos' work was just as captivating and massive as his Swiss counterpart, and before long we were actively collaborating on new commissions for Averse Sefira. The results can be seen in the Advent Parallax booklet, but until now the original drawings have not been published. To wit:

Sanguine Mapsama

The Carcass

Wrath - original version, unused

Wrath - 2nd version

It is difficult to describe the sense of accomplishment and pride that comes from working with such a talented and unique fine artist. Moreover, it is almost impossible to describe how it feels to have a life-long aspiration become reality.

And Sanguine recently found this tribute:

This was painted by Tom Neely as part of a series of black metal Post-It note art. It is striking that such a simple format can capture so much, and that our work speaks to so many gifted individuals. We are honored and humbled.

Frost and the dilemma of black metal

I hate the word 'dilemma'. It looks remedial with the double "m", as if it is misspelled. I also hate it because it rarely describes a situation with favorable choices. Perhaps it is a fittingly undesirable word in the end.

After a couple of seasons worth of select screenings, Until the Light Takes Us finally made it out to DVD last week. While I appraised it almost two years ago, it bears repeating that I support the film and the messages within. Get the 2-disc version if you can, as the extra content is almost a second movie unto itself. Since it hit the shelves, several people have surprised me by saying, "Frost seems like a fag".

Let's rewind the world about fifteen years and re-examine that statement - time was, right after the explosion (or implosion, perhaps) of True Norwegian Black Metal™, Frost was one of the few who kept the fires burning. Not only was he a remarkable drummer, but he donned bizarre, non-standard corpse paint and wore enough leather and spikes to outfit three bands. Here was someone who wanted to push the envelope, to manifest the idea of black metal as a tangible, physical presence. I always found it inspiring, and clearly I was not the only one.

As Satyricon transformed into a rock band, Frost toned down the presentation accordingly. Left to his own devices, however, he owned his image and lived in it the way most people live in jeans and t-shirts. 1349 became the outlet for these projections, but even as a solitary figure it was rare to catch him in public without the full gamut of black metal regalia. It never seemed like a question of impressing anyone; it was merely his way of facing the world.

He addresses this manner very eloquently on the bonus disc of Until the Light Takes Us (this is partly why the 2-DVD set is recommended), and I experienced it firsthand at the conclusion of 1349's US tour. I found myself awestruck and even envious that he could be that entity without exception. This is something that cannot be learned any more than one could learn to be taller. It is strictly inherent, and no amount of skepticism or naysaying can change it. In many interviews, I have stated that nobody came out of the womb wearing corpse paint and spikes, but maybe Frost is an exception. His avatar was probably there from the beginning, and it was simply waiting for the right moment to manifest.

Here, finally, is the dilemma. As the documentary illustrated, black metal has been available for public consumption for quite a while, and for the most part it is aped, misappropriated, and then discarded. This means that a dedicated figure like Frost will always be misunderstood. On one hand, onlookers get the impression that he lives by candlelight and wears armor to the grocery store and see it as novel and funny. When it becomes clear that his way is actually close to that perception, the same people chortle and dismiss him as some kind of fruitcake.

So, dear weekenders, how are we supposed to act? These personas are emblematic of who we are. They must exist because our conventional selves cannot make the journey to the dark reaches that we seek. The paint binds us to death and demonism, and the spikes and armor hearken back to a time when land was won by fire and steel. Black metal is a form of music, first and foremost, but its trappings say, "We are not of you. Stay out."

Ultimately, this didn't stop the rest of the world from barging in, but at its core the message remains unchanged. For all the artistic significance of the movement, it could not have existed without the emblematic figures. This is why Frost is important; he proves that the image is as real as he wants it to be, and it isn't just a Halloween costume or a shock tactic. Call him names all you like - he clearly couldn't care less. His life is an extension of his art, and his conviction and talent have afforded him the chance to exist in this mode on his own terms. Can you say the same?

Infringement

Unknown Finnish black metal band shirt

It seems like an obvious statement, but our visages are not public domain. Our paint is designed and worn for specific reasons that belong to us alone. Do not presume to treat it like a style option. This also applies to all the arrivists who co-opt Abbath's black diamond paint. Just stick with the 'panda bear' look - it says everything about your mediocrity.

Breath of life - Delineated, pt II

Beaten again by inches. Damn your tenacity. I had better make this count.

I awoke laying on my back in the white space. Here again. It was only my third visit. She leaned into my view, inverted as she knelt by the top of my head. She smiled, said hello, and then asked me how I had been feeling. I told her that things had been difficult, but I was trying to work it out. She said she knew, and that she had something that might help. When she leaned over and kissed me, it tasted like rain and the earth. It was life, thriving and fresh, a kiss of salvation. I realized in that moment that this was no mortal who was extending her favor to me. She leaned back again and assured me with a shimmering smile that I would feel better. When I awoke, things were different.

 ***

This year has been one of many great experiences, but it has often been undercut with worry and doubt. I stopped writing here as much because I don't like to talk about defeating moments or the fears and agonies that come with keeping a dream alive. Last weekend, a certain friend whom I respect immeasurably insisted that I should not allow this space to become derelict, and despite my weak excuses I realized he was right. 

Averse Sefira has always been its own creature, and it does what it wants in its own time. Fortunately, that time is coming again after a spate of relative silence. Many of you have seen me out on the desolate roads of America in other capacities, and your praise of our work has been a great solace and inspiration. Nevertheless, it is incumbent on us to make good on your expectations and honor your dedication with more and better. I am sorry I have to dangle the promise of album 5 over everyone's heads, but it is either that or remain silent, and clearly nobody prefers this option.

 

In the wake of our reignition, Triptykon and 1349 played Austin last Friday. It was exhilarating to see our friends all but tear down the venue with their mastery. It was also a strange feeling to not have been a part of the show. Granted, Sanguine and I enjoy being spectators as well, but there were lingering regrets that we couldn't have pursued being on the lineup. 

It was Triptykon's first time in Austin, and they introduced themselves with a degree of darkness and fury that continues to reverberate in my mind. As a unit they were fantastic, and Tom's command presence signaled a mighty return to his fans, skeptics, and the uninitiated. When Celtic Frost disbanded, I bemoaned the idea of losing connection with such an important elder statesman, but now he is back and more powerful than ever before. His choices of Vanja, V. Santura, and Norman were impeccable; not only are they dedicated and strong performers, but as individuals they are brilliant, genuine, and an absolute pleasure to know. They are collaborators and believers in Tom's vision, and it seems that they will succeed in taking Triptykon to realms that Celtic Frost could not explore. It is exciting to consider the possibilities, and I hope to witness as much of it as I can in the years ahead.

After working as stage manager for the recent Immolation/Vader tour, I found that the regular rigors of the live circuit were still there, and that we hadn't missed much in that regard. But then there were those singular moments, the ones that keep all bands on the road like deluded gamblers looking for that next big score; the great shows and transcendent performances. It was hard to watch them pass us by.

So what I learned in the last month is that metal is still the best thing on earth, watching friends triumph is almost as great as doing it yourself, and our fifth album is going to be a strong one because in many ways it is in the name of rejoining the greatness around us. It would have happened regardless, but I particularly owe a huge vote of thanks to many of my peers who counseled and encouraged me to keep the faith even at the most challenging moments. It made all the difference. And to the one in white space - thank you, too.

Artifaction

 

 draft of artwork for 'Tetragrammatical Astygmata', 2005 by Joe Kennett.

The above sketch was discovered earlier this evening, just as the artwork for the 5th effort made it to me in its fully realized and perfect form (and countless voices demand to know what and when - as stated many times before, be patient). Right now an old song is coming alive in my hands again, just as the words to unborn ones continue to whisper their presence in the peripheries. One more monument at least, ye mighty, before we are released from your thrall.

The visual condition of AVRS has always been an essential component of our message. The next release will be no different . Here is a small but crucial detail - the executors of the masterful Advent Parallax art and layout are again standing with us to ensure that "5" is every bit as grand. We are very grateful, and we are further obligated to create new music that will measure up to these artisans and their incredible efforts.